I usually do an Oscarvations post the morning after the Oscars, but this year was a much more subdued affair, and since I hadn’t seen one single film nominated—hell, I haven’t been out to the movies in over a year—I wasn’t up on who was in what and what I liked, loathed or despised.
But there’s always the fashion, even in a year when the audience was made up mostly of nominees and invited guests and presenters, and so there’s still much to dish. So, let’s do that …
Regina King by a mile. She gave me Glinda the Good Witch Haute Couture. The color, the sheen, the glitter, the glam, the fit. Hands down.
Carey Mulligan, nominated for Promising Young Woman, did not win, but looks like an winner, baby. I love the drama and the sheen and the simplicity of it all. Does it need jewels? Not when the dress is a jewel!
Mia Neal, who along with Jamika Wilson, became the first Black woman to win an Oscar for makeup and hairstyling for Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom. She took the stage, and I was like, “Damn.” I love that high glitter collar and the way it draped down the side.
Andra Day, nominated for playing Billie Holiday in The United States Vs. Billie Holiday in a sexy and glimmering and short and daring and glamorous totally Oscar-worthy dress.
H.E.R., AKA Gabriella Wilson, won the Oscar for Best Original Song, “Fight for You,” from Judas and the Black Messiah, also won the fashion parade for going sexy, but covered up; rock’n’roll sexy.
Olivia Colman. Yeah, it’s simple, but it’s age appropriate. It’s demur, but she wasn’t at the actual show, but at a theater in London. And in the Year of COVID, I think she chose well. The color. The retro vibes, the shoes. Love it.
Yuh-Jung Youn, Best Supporting Actress winner for Minari, wasn’t so mesmerized by the Oscar as she was by the man who called her name: “Mr. Brad Pitt, finally. Where were you when we were filming in person?” She looked, again, age-appropriate, in a midnight blue quilted gown. Simple and chic always scores.
Vanessa Kirby, nominated for Pieces of a Woman, stunned in pale pink with a simple cutout and bare midriff. She proves you don’t need sequins and bows and tricks to win.
Marlee Matlin presented an Oscar, but looked chic in black-and-silver with ultra-long sleeves. The look is giving me Evil Stepmother and I’m here for it.
Amanda Seyfried, nominated for Best Supporting Actress for Mank, looks lovely, but it’s all too much. The top piece comes up too far, while plunging too low, and then there’s too much skirt. I get she was going for Old Hollywood Glam but she took it too far.
Angela Basset. Don’t kill me, I love her; I’d be her if I could. But this look is nothing new. I think we’ve seen the big sleeves, bow-looking red dress almost every year, and I’m over it.
Margot Robie. Why does a beautiful woman do this to herself? It looks like a floral Granny Dress cut down to trying-to-be-sexy lingerie. No.
Reese Witherspoon is a big star who drags the same tired look from the same tired closet every single year. Why show up if you aren’t gonna try?
Viola Davis. Again, don’t kill me, but this dress does nothing for her. The cutouts don’t work; her breasts look oddly enormous, and the top does not match the pretty white bottom. She usually looks fun and gorgeous, and this seems dowdy to me.
Zendaya. All the TV fashionistas were raving about this dress, calling the color a “moment.” A moment? It’s yellow. And I know it was windy, but in the photo at left, fighting the wind, the dress looks like it’s on backwards; that cutout doesn’t work. In the photo at right, facing the wind, she looks stunning
Halle Berry. One of the most beautiful women in the world in an absolutely stunning dress ruined by that good-awful-one-can-only-hope-it’s-a-wig hair-don’t and terribly sad makeup. Neck down, gorgeous; add in the face and hair and, sorry, Halle, it’s a No.
Laura Dern. Have we learned nothing from Bjork’s Swan Dress? Granted, thus is no swan, but it looks like the stuffing fell out of the gown and she just went with it.
Sophia Nahli Allison is a documentary filmmaker so maybe she gets a pass? No. Wasn’t it just a few weeks ago that people knocked First Lady Dr. Jill Biden for fishnet stockings and this woman wears a literal fishing bet dress. No passes. It doesn’t fit, it sags and hangs and, while I gather it was supposed to be sexy, it misses the mark.
Glenn Close. Pick one! The dress is nice for a woman of a certain age and is nice for a demur Oscars. But then why the pants? And lastly, why has she been wearing these thick leather gloves for months now? What’s wrong with her hands? Are they being punished because they pointed out this outfit and she picked it?
Celeste Wait, nominated for Best Song for "Hear My Voice" The Trial of the Chicago 7, decided to wear her heart in her hands? WTF? This looks like some Evil Queen Alice in Wonderland knock-off made worse by carrying a human heart purse.
Regina King wins Best Accessory for her date, Aldis Hodge, a dreamy, tall sexy hunk of a man. I instantly channeled my inner Aretha, singing “Freeway of Love” … ♪ ♫ Knew you'd be a vision in white … How'd you get your pants so tight ♫ ♪ Yum!
Riz Ahmed nominated for Best Actor for Sound of Metal, rocked the Not-A-Tuxedo statement last night but still brought the heat and the eleganza. Plus, as a show whore, I love the shoes.
Charles D. King, nominated as producer of Judas and the Black Messiah is giving retro-chic. I love the suit, the jacket the color of the jacket, the shoes, that shiny bald head. Cool and hot.
Colman Domingo, from Ma Rainey's Black Bottom, rocked the carpet in a hot pink tuxedo dripping in rhinestones. Not a lot of men, straight or gay, and Coleman is a hot gay male, could pull off a pink suit and, yes, I’ll be that shallow, I’d love to pull off this pink suit. Just sayin’. Hot, gay, fashion forward, daring. Yes.
Jon Batiste, who, along with Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, won the Oscar for Best Original Score for Soul, in a dark blue sleek tuxedo that doesn’t scream old school tuxedo. I love the color, the flower, the fit, and, yeah, the hot guy in the tux. Just sayin’.
Leslie Odom Jr channeled the Oscar statue in a double-breasted textured brocade gold suit. It’s a bit matchy-matchy, and I don’t quite get the turtleneck, unless it’s to match the black shoes? Still, he gets mad props for trying something new and different!
Sacha Baron Cohen also rocked a little retro look, though his is more British schoolboy. It’s not screaming at you, but it is elegant and, yeah, I’d wear that.
Steven Yeun, from Minari, brought out that timeless tuxedo look, but really made it work, because it fits like a glove. This is how you do tuxedo: make it fit!
Lakeith Stanfield, nominated for Best Supporting Actor for Judas and the Black Messiah, in a slightly gender-fluid pantsuit. It’s not for everyone, and not everyone should even think about it, but on Lakeith it works. Hip, cool, retro and tomorrow.
Daniel Kaluuya, winner of the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor for Judas and the Black Messiah, shows what happens when you perhaps don’t go to a single fitting. It’s nice, but meh, and does absolutely nothing for him or me.
Tyler Perry won the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award, and gave a lovely speech that he clearly took time to write, but he might have taken the same time to pick a suit jacket that fit, unless he’s going for too tight … and in velvet. The tiny bowtie draws attention to his literal large head, and those shoes! C’mon, man, make an effort in the shoe department, if you’re not gonna bring a good suit.
Jeremy Molod, nominated for Best Sound for Mank, also fell into the rented tuxedo that doesn’t fit trap. I mean, it looks like a bad Halloween maître d' costume, and if you’re gonna go rented, Jeremy, spring for the shoes. Good god man! Disgraceful.
Questlove provided the music, and it’s a good thing he was behind the mixing board because he was wearing … gird your loins, Maddie … gold crocs! Good goddess!
Travon Free and Martin Desmon Rice, winners for Short Film, Two Distant Strangers, brought the ugly, but with a message, so maybe they get a pass. The jackets, with yellow lapels, opened to reveal a series of scripted names of Black Americans murdered by the police. I love a good statement, but perhaps in a less hideous suit?
So, there you have the Best, the Good, the Meh, the Bad, the WTF, and the Men.
What did you think?
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